Raining Buckets...

Is that what you really wanted to say? Is it? Is it really? Please think about one... because it sounds like you left out a few words.

Ugly Sweater Parties

OK, OK, so this is an event and not a phrase, but I don't get it, so I think it's applicable. Sure, parties are fun. Sure, ugly Christmas sweaters are silly and fun. But where in the heck did this phenomenon originate? As an East Coaster, the love of these parties blew my mind when I moved to the Midwest. In fact, I have at least four ugly sweater parties to attend in the upcoming weekend.

Is this strictly a Midwest thing or are my friends on the East Coast just boring?

P.S. This picture was yanked from Google images and I believe that both this man and his sweater are amazing. Let's be friends.

P.P.S Enjoy these links:
http://www.uglychristmassweaterparty.com/
http://www.hellishholidays.com/2006/12/ugly-christmas-sweater-party-guide.html
http://homemanagement.suite101.com/article.cfm/ugly_christmas_sweater_parties

Down by the Bay

"By the By"

For some reason that phrase makes me think of the song, down by the bay, where the watermelon's grow. This makes absolutely no sense. I don't try to pretend it does.

By the by means by the way. We all know this.

By (http://www.dictionary.com) means:

1.	near to or next to: a home by a lake.

2.	over the surface of, through the medium of, along, or using as a route: He came by the highway. She arrived by air.

3.	on, as a means of conveyance: They arrived by ship.

4.	to and beyond the vicinity of; past: He went by the church.

5.	within the extent or period of; during: by day; by night.

6.	not later than; at or before: I usually finish work by five o'clock.

7.	to the extent or amount of: The new tug is larger than the old one by a great deal. He's taller than his sister by three inches.

8.	from the opinion, evidence, or authority of: By his own account he was in Chicago at the time. I know him by sight.

9.	according to; in conformity with: This is a bad movie by any standards.

10.	with (something) at stake; on: to swear by all that is sacred.

11.	through the agency, efficacy, work, participation, or authority of: The book was published by Random House.

12.	from the hand, mind, invention, or creativity of: She read a poem by Emily Dickinson. The phonograph was invented by Thomas Edison.

13.	in consequence, as a result, or on the basis of: We met by chance. We won the game by forfeit.

14.	accompanied with or in the atmosphere of: Lovers walk by moonlight.

15.	in treatment or support of; for: He did well by his children.

16.	after; next after, as of the same items in a series: piece by piece; little by little.

17.	(in multiplication) taken the number of times as that specified by the second number, or multiplier: Multiply 18 by 57.

18.	(in measuring shapes) having an adjoining side of, as a width relative to a length: a room 10 feet by 12 feet.

19.	(in division) separated into the number of equal parts as that specified by the second number, or divisor: Divide 99 by 33.

20.	in terms or amounts of; in measuring units of: Apples are sold by the bushel. I'm paid by the week.

21.	begot or born of: Eve had two sons by Adam.

22.	(of quadrupeds) having as a sire: Equipoise II by Equipoise.

23.	Navigation. (as used in the names of the 16 smallest points on the compass) one point toward the east, west, north, or south of N, NE, E, SE, S, SW, W, or NW, respectively: He sailed NE by N from Pago Pago.

24.	into, at, or to: Come by my office this afternoon.

OK now I might have gotten a bit lazy in reading all those definitions, but I am pretty sure that none of them say that by means way. And why not just say by the way? It takes just as much time to get the words out of your mouth.

Put the lotion in the basket...

...Or eggs. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

I get it, I get it. Eggs are sensitive. They break easily. You don't want to go and trip and break an entire basket of eggs, because then you could potentially have "egg on your face." (Zing!) Here is the part I don't understand as I did not grow up in a farming community. Are you supposed to carry multiple baskets with which to...um...harvest the eggs. If you did and you tripped and fell then you would still have baskets filled with broken eggs. Or do farmers normally make more than one egg harvesting trip? Are you telling me to be patient? I am not patient. What is your secret underlying message here? A girl needs to know!

Track Marks

"Stopped Dead in My Tracks"

Can something stop dead? I guess a car can stop dead. And a person can stop dead. And an animal can stop dead. But isn't stopping dead saying the same thing twice? Think about it....well think about a little. I know that just stopping and dying are two things. But if you say you stopped, we all get what you mean. If you say you died, well how are you even talking to me unless you are a ghost, and if you are please let me know so I don't try to hug you.

Also, if you have some time, do a Google image search of "stopped dead in my tracks." You will see some random pictures! Like the one above this sentence.

Clam Bake

"Happy as a Clam"

Brought to you by: www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/as-happy-as-a-clam.html
"Origin"

Why would clams be happy? It has been suggested that open clams give the appearance of smiling. The derivation is more likely to come from the fuller version of the phrase, now rarely heard - 'as happy as a clam at high water'. Hide tide is when clams are free from the attentions of predators; surely the happiest of times in the bivalve mollusc world."

Why not just say, I'm happy? Or, if you really want to go the prey/predator route, how about "I'm as happy as a zebra when it escapes a potentially deadly attack by a lion in the jungle." Or: "I'm as happy as a bee after it makes a sting but before it realizes that now it's going to die."

Get Ready for a Science Rant

"Survival of the Fittest"

In googling this phrase I happily discovered this wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survival_of_the_fittest, of whose entirety I did not read.

But here is my rant. Survival of the fittest, in its original purpose, refers to the survival of specific genes as they are passed on through evolution. Remember the story of the story of the white moths that were in a polluted area and it was found overtime that they had become gray to still be able to hide in their environment? Or the human tail bone...even though we don't technically have a tail. It's those kinds of genes.

In no one way does it refer to people or things being stronger and therefore surviving, and just because it is stronger or in better shape does not mean it's going to survive longer. There are plenty of athletes who die young because of heart and other related conditions. Basically what I am saying is get a new phrase...like survival of those with a gun who are willing to shoot those without a gun. Or survival of those animals who are stronger and quicker and will eat animals that are weaker and slower.

"In Like Flynn"

I will no longer use this phrase....unless I am referring to something sexual...

This definition brought to you by the site: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/198700.html

Meaning

To be quickly and/or emphatically successful, usually in a sexual or romantic context.

Origin

This phrase is commonly said to be a reference to Errol Flynn, the Australian film actor. Flynn was famous for his romantic swashbuckler roles in Hollywood films and for his flamboyant private life. His reputation as a hard-drinking, hell-raising ladies' man was apparently well justified, although it has doubtless been enhanced by his delight in playing up to his image.

Learning Through Osmosis

"Learning Through Osmosis"

I get this phrase. I have no question of what it's supposed to mean, however the phrase itself is completely impossible and inaccurate. Osmosis is, and I use dictionary.com here for exactness:

" the tendency of a fluid, usually water, to pass through a semipermeable membrane into a solution where the solvent concentration is higher, thus equalizing the concentrations of materials on either side of the membrane."

It's a diffusion of water or something fluid. This means that you cannot pass knowledge (I know it's a joke, but it's still wrong) or any other solid substance through a membrane and call it osmosis. It would be definition. I believe that who ever coined this phrase did not pay attention in science class. And don't get me started on "survival of the fittest," although I might get myself started and rant tomorrow on how incorrectly that phrase is now used.

Please, for the love of all things holy and right, stop using this phrase immediately. Do it for your science teacher, and if you hated that person then do it for me.

Safe and Sound

OK, OK by definition this phrase makes total and complete sense. But wouldn't it be more fun if you said you were safe and sound you were using the second definition below (from www.dictionary.com). For example: I just got home. I am safe and financially secure. Text in response: Um, OK. Good for you, especially considering these rough economic times.

sound

2  /saʊnd/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sound] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, adverb –adjective

1.	free from injury, damage, defect, disease, etc.; in good condition; healthy; robust: a sound heart; a sound mind.

2.	financially strong, secure, or reliable: a sound business; sound investments.

3.	competent, sensible, or valid: sound judgment.

4.	having no defect as to truth, justice, wisdom, or reason: sound advice.

5.	of substantial or enduring character: sound moral values.

6.	following in a systematic pattern without any apparent defect in logic: sound reasoning.

7.	uninterrupted and untroubled; deep: sound sleep.

8.	vigorous, thorough, or severe: a sound thrashing.

9.	free from moral defect or weakness; upright, honest, or good; honorable; loyal.

10.	having no legal defect: a sound title to property.

11.	theologically correct or orthodox, as doctrines or a theologian.

"That's A Horse of a Different Color"

Apparently this means "another matter entirely."

If you have two horses, say one black and one brown, don't you still have two horses? You don't have something different, just something of another color.

Says the Pot to the Kettle, "Why you gotta metal?"

"That's the Pot Calling the Kettle Black"

OK, now I know where this phrase comes from. I mean I don't know who said it first, but I do understand what it means. However, I also feel that is has become slightly outdated.

Both pots and kettles come in different colors now, so shouldn't the phrase be updated to something like, "that's the Red Cephalon pot calling the polka dotted kettle black?" I am just saying, you should really be more specific in this day and age otherwise it is just a generic statement that is describing the appearance of two things that look different while trying to say they look the same.

I also found this alternative version of the phrase:

"That's the pot bottom calling the kettle bottom black"

I would like to know who says this, as you need to turn down your stove top and stop burning your pans.

And then there is this version,
"pot, kettle, black"

I would also like to know who says this. As you are just lazy and stupid and need to start talking in full sentences.

Carpet Baggers

"

call on the carpet

Summon for a scolding or rebuke, as in Suspecting a leak to the press, the governor called his press secretary on the carpet. This term began as on the carpet, which in the early 1700s referred to a cloth (carpet) covering a conference table and therefore came to mean "under consideration or discussion." In 19th-century America, however, carpet meant "floor covering," and the expression, first recorded in 1902, alluded to being called before or reprimanded by a person rich or powerful enough to have a carpet."

But if you are rich enough to own a carpet, why would you want to have someone idiot stand all over it and get it dirty while you yell at them? Wouldn't you rather have them stand next to the carpet so they know how important you are?

Goin' Out of My Head

From www.yourdictionary.com:

"go out of one's mind idiom

Lose one's mental stability, become insane, as in After he heard that the ore he had mined was worthless, the prospector went out of his mind. This phrase is often used as a humorous exaggeration, as in I'm going out of my mind reading these proofs. The phrase out of one's mind dates from the late 1300s, and was used with go shortly thereafter. Also see lose one's mind."

Isn't it physically impossible to go out of one's mind? Your mind is your brain yes? Your brain is inside your head. Inside being the key word. I suppose if you were to have a lobotomy or be in some tragic accident where you head was cut open and your brain fell out, then perhaps you could be out of your mind. However, then you would also either be dead or need some serious surgery...and not necessarily crazy.